The pure feelings need no hiding!

Have you ever felt like the world is on fire and you are at the center of it? Maybe not. But in the case you are one of a large number of people who did, I am here to tell you that you are not alone.

The truth is the feelings are a complex thing to describe. What you felt might be an immeasurable joy or sadness, it might be an intense love or a crushing heartbreak. It doesn't matter which one because it's not wrong to have or not to have those soul-crushing emotions.

For many years before the evolution of neurological science, the emotions and feelings like love have been thought to be based in our hearts because of the change in blood pressure, hence the pounding or slowing down of the heartbeats when emotion overtakes you.

There was a time I thought there is something really off with me because of the way I couldn't control those electric jolts burning deep inside me. When my stomach was on fire and my chest felt like it's about to burst,
I could easily let tears run on my cheek. I didn't know if it was the love I was feeling or hate of the fact that I could let myself feel so hurtfully good for someone. I am still not a master of my screwed up feelings; sometimes, I hate what I love, or love so much what I regret to love, or even worse enraged that I hate to love what I hate. Did I lose you? That's my point, I'm no master!

However, I know that I am human with hormones, the body, and the senses. I am learning to let each emotion overtake me. Sometimes it is something like a key opening a rusty door; it clicks and clicks, the door is unlocked but not yet opened, me in that case, I'm the hand that pushes it wide open letting in the sunlight; sharp and straight sun rays penetrating dust formed as an invisible cloud around the entrance, to disappear deep inside the unknown caves. one emotion leading to another until I feel like I want to explode of whichever I'm feeling anger or happiness, pain or pleasure, hate or love alike. Either way, I wasn't prepared to embrace my emotions at a young age instead I was made to believe being tough and keeping your composure and an indifferent face of everything is the right thing to do. This is not only me, but there are also many people out there who were conditioned to fight their emotions like I was or worse they were convinced to be ashamed of them. You may be one of them or it is someone you know - your friend or family, your lover or your coworker; it doesn't matter, this can help you to change yourself or to understand those who are struggling with their feelings. And that's why I am writing this blog despite the fact that I am far from an expert or a master in this domain. 

Somehow, you ended up here because of how you grew up or how those who raised you grew up. For instance, you might have been raised in a low-income household; with a single mother working two jobs to keep food on the table and pay the rent, there is no time to talk about feelings. If the only thing that counts when you hit adolescence is to make things done, you are confused and you are not prepared for the craziness of your hormones. You either succumbs to the foolishness of being in love, the challenges of being cool and to fit in by following yourself mercilessly into sports or drugs or any other hobbies that the cool kids are into. On the other hand, this was the best time to figure out how to deal with your feelings. It's the time to follow the script that was nurtured into you by your parents since your birthday. You have seen how those most important people for you deal with sadness, anger, love, happiness, etc. If they talked about what they were going through; you will talk about what you are going through, if they showed their inside feelings through actions, so will you. 

What I am trying to say is that no one, at least as far as I can tell, is 100% prepared for what they should do or what they specifically have to do when they are confounded with a new feeling. Don't blame yourself if you feel that endless flow of emotions running like a firestorm from your head, wreaking havoc in your chest, burning anything it encounters in your stomach to overflow anything below; leaving your lower limbs trembling and restless to restart again from your head. You might be madly angry like the bull in a bullfight, or you are crazily in love for that mysterious person for whom you would give everything you have to be with. Who says that you are not sad or anxious and no one seems to care because they are happy with their life? What makes love an unforgettable experience or a soul-crushing heartbreak? - how the one you felt for responded, reacted, or in not a few instances if you even gathered enough courage to tell her or him, even how well you did it. 

In conclusion, the pure of the purest emotions are not just hormones rushing through your veins, it's that and the chance you have to express what you feel. It is a two edges sword and no matter hard you try to ignore or fight what you feel; you feel it anyway. All you have to do is to choose between a slow vis a quick cut; in both cases though, the cuts are deep.